I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
