i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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