I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
