Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
