party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
