I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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