I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
i think my cat just said my name.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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