now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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