i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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