i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize