What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
