You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
