I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
