i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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