I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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