thus making me awesome and them whores
handjob tips. give me some.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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