She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
