they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
