Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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