i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
