I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Is Oprah even human
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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