I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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