I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
