thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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