so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
