it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
