Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Those nachos came to me in a dream
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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