I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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