i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
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She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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