I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize