I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
