just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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