Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
