my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
