bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
