This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
