Don't you send me to vm
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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