ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize