the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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