To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
