So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
