I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
never play flip cup with pint glasses
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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