i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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