No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
