in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
