Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize