So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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