jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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