Define "chronic" masturbator.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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