i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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