You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
