Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
