You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
