hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize